Letter to my baby

You close your eyes.
I wonder if you know I’m here. If you’ll ever know how much I love feeling your soft baby skin or the silkiness of your hair.
I hold you a little longer tonight just to watch you sleep.

I think about life before you. What did Daddy and I even do? How could anything really matter without you there?

You let out a content sigh.
I wonder if you’re happy. If you’ll ever know the extent of what I’d do for you or how proud you’re making me by just being you.
I hold you a little longer tonight just to watch you sleep.

I think about when I was pregnant with you. You were just a little stranger inside me and I still loved everything I knew. If only I knew it was YOU.

You squeeze my finger.
I wonder if you’re comfortable. If you’ll ever know how thankful I am to have you and to be your mommy.
I hold you a little longer tonight just to watch you sleep.

I think about when you were newborn. I thought I’d never survive the sleepless nights with you, my fussy baby. But now I know I’ll miss spending nights just getting to know you.

You smile.
I wonder if you’re dreaming of me.  If you see me behind your eyes smiling at you.
I hold you a little longer tonight just to watch you sleep.

I think about how soon you will be too busy for me to watch you and too big for me to hold you. Tonight as you dream, I cherish that just for this short time I’m the center of your universe. You will always be mine.

I hold you a little longer tonight just to watch you sleep.