(I used to listen to this song to get me through the hard times of last year's loss, before I got pregnant again, while I was pregnant and now it still seems appropriate.)
As most people know, our little baby boy Felix John was born at 1:44pm on his due date - November 13, 2013. He weighed 6lbs 14oz and was 19.5 inches. We're in complete love with this amazing little guy. This week has flew by, I can't believe he's already 8 days old. It makes me sad to think he's not going to be this little forever. I love him this way, and I just want these days - as exhausting and tough as they are - to last forever.
I wanted to make sure I wrote his birth story while it was still fresh in my mind, although I just haven't found the time until now. So, here it is:
I woke up on Tuesday November 12 with spotting. I hadn't spotted at all during my pregnancy, so I knew this was probably indicative of something actually happening. Even though my midwife never said to call for spotting, since it was bright red, I figured I'd give them a page just incase it was something I should be looking into.The midwife said not to worry as long as there isn't a lot of bleeding. Just to keep an eye on it. She said it might just be a sign of my cervix dilating. I was happy with that.
By 11:30am, I started feeling some cramping and aching in my back on a regular basis. I tried timing it, and it seemed to be coming at an interval of 7 minutes. They weren't intense or anything, so I told Dave not to worry about coming home from work yet. But by noon, I texted him to come home. Even if it wasn't the "real thing" I was in a bit of pain and I didn't want to be alone. My midwife told me to ignore the "contractions" until I couldn't ignore it any longer. She told me to stop timing as well.
Dave got home a half an hour later, the contractions slowed and got further apart. I thought for sure that it was all just a false alarm.
By dinner time I was STILL spotting and feeling tenderness in my belly, and we were starting to get worried that something might be wrong with the placenta, so we paged the midwife again to ask her specifically if we can rest assured the placenta and baby are okay. She told me to come to the hospital so she could do a non-stress test on the baby to make sure he's still doing well in there.
We got the hospital around 7:30pm, they hooked us up and we could see on the monitor that the baby was okay, and that I was having contractions at about every 5-6 minutes. Nothing to admit me for. My midwife was satisfied that the baby was okay. She told me to go home, take tylenol and gravol to sleep, and see what happens over the next few days. We got home and went to bed. As soon as we laid down I started to have strong contractions. I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep - something was happening. Since my midwife had not checked for dilation, I was worried about actually being super dilated and not knowing it. I paged me midwife again (by this time they had changed shifts so it was a different midwife). She told me I had two options, I could have her come to my house and check me and take the chance that I'm 9-10cms and I'd have to have a home birth OR we could meet at the hospital and if I'm less than 3cms they would send me home. I told her to come to my house. She got here at about 11:30pm. She checked me and I was 3-4cms dilated and 100% effaced. The contractions were stronger, and about every 5-6 minutes apart and completely in my back. We just hung around my house as I took on one contraction at a time. By this time I was bleeding heavily. This concerned my midwife since she couldn't understand why I'd be bleeding so badly. We spent another 2 hours with me labouring around the house and she checked me again. I was then a solid 4cms. She said we'd be okay to go to the hospital and be admitted, and she'd like to run the bleeding by some obstetricians as the hospital to see if they're concerned.
It was the first snowfall of the year, which made it a memorable drive to the hospital. Contractions added to the memory. Each bump on the road made me squeeze the seat a little harder.
We got to the hospital at about 3am. I spent more time getting through the contractions. Got my IV (after 3 PAINFUL tries). The only reason I got the IV was because I was pretty sure I was eventually going to want the epidural. I just couldn't picture myself getting though pushing without the epidural.
I laid in bed holding on to the bedrails for dear life with each contraction. I had what they call "coupling and tripling" which is when your contractions piggyback each other. So, in other words HUGE EFFIN LONG CONTRACTIONS THAT SEEM TO NEVER END. Which was okay, except when that would happen, my baby's heart rate would sometimes drop scarily low. Then during a coupling contraction, we lost our baby's heart rate. In the blink of an eye, all I remember is my midwife pressing a red button and saying "neo team for decel!" into the speaker. Within seconds a team of doctors rushed in, put an oxygen mask on me and honestly threw my body around like a ragdoll. They inserted monitors that get placed in the baby's head (yes, while he's still inside me) and stimulate him to bring his heart rate back. We could hear his heartrate back on the monitor and things calmed down. The OB asked me if I had my epidural yet, I said no, and she apologized for how rough everything just was. I don't even remember the pain...I was just concerned about my little man. The OB told my midwife if I want an epidural I'll have to wait another 10 minutes to make sure the baby's heartrate is stable before I can get it.
By this point I was 7cms dilated. We waited the 10 minutes and the OB was okay with me getting the epidural. Getting the epidural was a smooth process besides having a contraction through it. I couldn't move while they inserted it which sucked during a contraction, but at least I knew the end of the pain was in sight. They gave me a needle in my back first to numb the area, and yeah, that stung, but again, I didn't care. Then they inserted the tube which felt like an electric shock radiating through my back - kind of a gross feeling - but not really pain. Then they removed the needle, leaving the tube in my back, taped it up and it was all done. I was given a button I could press to add more epidural if I felt the need. I watched the clock counting down like 20 minutes until I could get relief from the pain of the contractions.
Soon, I wasn't in anymore pain from the contractions. I could still tell they were happening because my stomach would tense up, but that was it. The most pain was having was a little dull ache on the right side of my pelvis...no worse than a period cramp. I was still laughing and making jokes and conversation and it was all great. This was probably around 5 am on November 13.
Then at around 6am, my midwife checked me and told me I was fully dilated! Me and Dave were ecstatic! How exciting and easy, I was thinking. I couldn't feel a thing. My midwife asked if I wanted to try pushing so I could "learn how to push". I was so excited so of course I wanted to try. So each contraction I'd push three times. It seemed like things were going well. Until they realized the baby's heartrate was going extremely high inbetween pushes...like, scary high. They tried getting me to push in different positions to help him out. Sometimes, it did, sometimes it didn't. I kept pushing through each contraction. I was able to move the head down a bit, but then they realized his head was stuck behind my pubic bone because he was sunny-side up. (When a baby is facing upward with his back to my back instead of face down with his back facing my stomach). This makes things real difficult when it comes to pushing (and back labour which I had the entire time).
My midwife had to go home because she had been with us since 11pm the night before. A new midwife I hadn't met yet came to take over. I had already been pushing for hours, and awake for over 24 hours with already 24 hours of labouring. I started crying that I was never going to be able to get the baby out. They reassured me that my pushing was effective, that he was stuck and the only reason they were worried was because his heart rate was still dropping extremely low, and then rising super high. The midwife called the OB in a few times to get a second opinion. Thankfully, the OB was on board with me continuing to push on my own with no interventions. I did NOT want them to use the vacuum like they were suggesting for many reasons I won't get into here.
Each time they'd bring the OB in, I'd put on my most strong, non-tired face and tell him I was feeling great just so he wouldn't feel like he needed to "help" me out. On the inside, I was doubtful I'd get this baby out on my own, and I wanted him to be okay, but I really didn't want things to escalate. I was terrified of a c-section. I knew it depended all on some powerful pushing.
At 5 hours of pushing, they were telling me I was making progress, and I could kind of feel the pressure of his head. I started to feel a burn low in my stomach. I pressed the button my epidural, but it wasn't powerful enough to take the pain away. My midwife coached me to push through the pain. As difficult as it is to push through pain like that, I wanted this baby out on my own.
I looked at Dave, who had been by my side since the beginning. He kept telling me how close I was, how good I was doing and the excited look on his face each time I pushed gave me energy to keep going.
After just over 6 hours of serious pushing, they brought in the neonatal team of doctors to be ready for the baby that my midwife was sure would be born in the next couple of pushes. They wanted the team there to be sure that the baby was okay once he was born since his heart rate had scared everyone during the entire labour. I knew this was it. They weren't just bringing them in to encourage me, or to make me think I was closer to being done than I really was. Then the midwife told me that the next push I would have a baby. We waited and waited for that final contraction. The room was packed with people, just waiting for me to be able to push so they could spring into action. When that contraction finally came I gave it everything I had and Felix John was born at 1:44pm. The midwife quickly cut his cord and scooped him up. He was already wailing and it was the most amazing feeling. I bursted into hyperventilating crying. Just to know he's finally here. Our little baby that we've been waiting for all of this time. Through all of our struggles last year. I just knew he was healthy and okay now.
The neonatal team went into action on him. I saw him on the other side of the room throwing his arms and legs around and still screaming. I couldn't stop crying. Dave and I were in awe of the moment. Our son was here. Finally.
They finally put him in my arms and told me he was perfect. Dave said I had a look in my eyes he's never seen before of complete joy and happiness, like nothing else existed but my baby and our new family. I'll never forget that moment for as long as I live.
We love you Felix!
